Title sounds a bit dramatic right? But just read on and see where I’m coming from…
So, a few months back now, I handed my notice in at my old job which I’ve been in for nearly four and half years. It was quite a big deal for me and when I’d done it I felt slightly afraid but mostly happy, excited for my future and bursting with positive energy.
Several factors made me decide on getting to this point of change, and along the way I had moments of doubt. Firstly, if you’ve been in a role for more than a couple of years I think you get extremely comfortable. You know everyone you work with, you know who to ask for information, you know what’s required of you and as well as knowing all this you have stability, you have assurance, you have a routine in your life.
Plus. my job had its perks – they’re a company which genuinely invests in that work-life balance where you can work flexible hours and you can work from home. This is undeniably handy and has been so useful at various times. But for many reasons I realised I was no longer stretching myself, I felt frustration with the direction that things were headed and I yearned to know if I could be better, if I could make a change that would push me, inspire me, challenge me and give me the opportunities I felt would make me work harder and start to achieve over and above my expectations again. I guess, in many ways, I was in a bit of a rut.
When I first started looking at new roles I was still in a complete quandry – I kept wondering: do I keep pushing myself and do I need to just wait for things to ‘get better’? Is the fault with me, can I even be better elsewhere or will I be just as demotivated there? And I would go back and forth – I’d have a good day where I felt like I had made a difference by doing my job, where I was busy and motivated and understood the direction we were heading in. And then I’d have a bad day where I would seem to be on a different page to management, and/or I’d feel under-appreciated or undervalued.
When I started out too, I was in such a bad place with my career self-esteem that I even had a conversation with my cousin that went something like “I think I’m just going to look for a side-step or more junior role as I don’t think I have enough to offer.” Looking back, words to that affect, though said were coming from a bad place. Firstly, when I did apply for those kind of roles I got no response. Probably because I was over-qualified. And then, I switched my CV up, had a moment or two of clarity – I MADE myself focus on things I’d achieved.
And once those achievements started coming to mind they flowed – hoorah! There were a few of them! Shock horror!
And then the calls started coming. And there were a lot – to the point that my misunderstanding about my value had meant I’d applied for a fair few and I could probably have been a bit fussier and more selective. But that came in the initial conversations and still left me with a few good choices moving forward.
Whilst I was interviewing processes I was feeling buzzy – I was getting excited about the things I could bring to a new role and a new company. I was interviewing in the city centre whereas currently I work in the beautiful, beachside suburbs. The pace of life was catching something in me and driving me onwards. I had a new found confidence and I was thriving on it.
On the way to one of my first interviews, for a role (I thought) I particularly wanted (but actually I realised further down the line was not AS suited to me as I originally thought – a good role nonetheless, for a great company), I was sat on the bus and trying to still my nerves and focus. I’d gone over my notes several times, read and re-read the job spec, and knew my resume virtually backwards. I needed inspiration for the interview but I didn’t want to over prep (a bit like revising too much!). I decided to watch some of those motivational speaking videos. One guy that my trainer is always raving on about is Eric Thomas – ET, the Hip Hop Preacher. He’s the guy who coined the phrase ‘when you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe’. He’s one of the ones I watched on that bus journey and the result = my nerves subsided and the interview was good. I was their favourite candidate but there were some queries from both sides about my background experience suitability for the role and more suitable things came up for me.
But it was like, all of a sudden, something I’d been told over and over was starting to click into place. I started watching some other videos and I even saw a rather strange video about Laws of Attraction. Whether the results people claim they got in that video are coincidence or not is down to what you want to believe. BUT, the message is loud and clear, and in my mind cannot be argued over.
It’s just this. Believe and think positively. Don’t think negatively. Put positive energy OUT THERE and receive positive results back.
Sound simple? It is, but it’s an adjustment of your mind I can tell you.
You know when you get those days when you spill your coffee all down you, the cat pees on sofa, you can’t find your keys, you’re running late and everyone on the road is driving like an idiot. You miss the bus, got no money in your bank, your friend said something to upset you, and your boss told you off. THOSE kind of days. And what do you think?
You think: Oh for effs sake. Eff this. This sucks. Life hates me. I can’t do this. I’m not going to go to bookclub/training/class because I’m just not in the right frame of mind. I’m going to be in debt forever. I’m never going to have enough money to go on holiday/visit my family/go out on the weekend/buy a house.
And so on. And so on.
Well, sometimes we don’t even notice that negativity creeping in – we might think we’re a fairly positive person but I challenge you to NOTE your frame of mind. Sometimes it washes over us and we don’t even notice we’re doing it. But the next time you drop your bags as you’re rushing to get to the car/bus/train and you’re cursing…. stop. Laugh. And try to remember… it doesn’t matter. Not really.
I used to think of myself as a very optimistic person but I think going through some growing up in my early 20s I learnt to become a bit more cynical, trust less easily and from there, and along with silly things like mounting debts, I started to have a more negative approach to life. I would want things but I’d believe it would likely not happen. I’d prepare myself for disappointment.
Let me tell you now, I know WHY I did that. But did it get me anywhere. Most of the time no. I’d keep focussing on all that I did not have instead of taking what I wanted and saying I WILL get that. I CAN do it.
If you look at it, when I’ve stood there and said – nothing else is acceptable. I’ve got what I wanted.
- I wanted to move to Australia. Done.
- I wanted to get engaged to Mr OC. Done.
- I wanted to get married. I am planning our wedding.
- I wanted to get my permanent residency. Done.
- I wanted to lose 6kg. Done.
- I wanted to walk 100km. Done.
- I wanted to read more. Started my bookclub.
And some of them weren’t easy but when I look back for most it was about believing that it was the only thing possible.
What happened with my job hunt in the end was this. I saw a job I REALLY wanted just as I’d decided to stop applying as there were a few in the pipeline and I didn’t want to juggle too many interviews etc. I went for an interview with the recruiter, had a second interview with the recruiter (different person with links to the company they were recruiting for). Got the interview for the role and communicated that I was already quite far through a process with another role and I felt it was leading to an offer (this was indeed very true). Had the first interview felt it went really well – one of those great conversations, not just a lot of ask a question, answer a question format that is sometimes so stifling. You know you could well with a person or in a company, if you have lots to say to each other and not just AT it each. I got a call to say they liked me, had a few more to interview but should I be successful I’ll be 2nd interviewing with someone else etc. Got the call got the second interview and I was the only one going through to second round – hoorah! The very same day I got the offer from the other job I’d been interviewing for – having been to see them several times now I had discovered they were really lovely people and the job was good but it as similar to what I was already doing both in how the company were set-up (size, growth etc) whereas I had wanted something different, which the OTHER role was.
Thus ensued several days of delaying tactics while I waited to second interview (via Skype to the UK) for the role I really wanted. I got the offer the following day from the second interview and immediately phoned the other company to let them know I was sorry but I’d not be accepting their offer.
I explained to them I had been considering another offer that was good several reasons and it wasn’t really about money – that was an element of it and the role itself was a fairly level playing field – just other factors came into play – the UK marketing team, the easier location etc. – they asked the offer and I told them. I then got a call from the CEO that afternoon (flatteringly) tell me how much they liked me, and ask me again what can they do, chat a bit more about some of the pros of working for them and finally to top the offer made from the role I had prefered.
My thoughts at this time, in this whirlwind of craziness…
“Good god. How are these people fighting over me?! I’m really, HONESTLY not that good! I don’t know if I’m going to live up to either of their expectations.”
Suddenly from a little positive energy all these opportunities were bursting into life infront of me. What a blessing. And more to the point – finally a big boost for my self esteem!
In the end I went with my gut (not the money – the difference was minimal anyhow and I felt there would be more on offer over time anyway) and chose the job I had originally hankered after, the job I had forced them to rush through so I got the offer in time, and the offer to the job I’ve now been in for close to 3 months. Wow where has that time gone. I seriously started writing this blog back before I started!
I also took the time to seriously thank the job I turned down – they were awesome people and I felt sad that I’d disappointed them and left them in a bit of a pickle. And I know that’s not my issue. It is the same for a job applicant when a company who they really want, doesn’t want them. BUT, man it’s hard on my sensitive soul. Haha!
The point is, that by the end of all these amazing events I was BUZZING. Yes I was still apprehensive after being in my other job for so long and yes I was scared I wouldn’t live up to expectations but that’s probably natural. I went home one night around this time and told Mr OC how literally picking myself up and placing myself in a positive space with heaps of positive energy had worked for me – and I’d practised doing it time and again since then. In fact every single day I am now working and working at doing this. I’m sure I’ve done it before… but subconsciously. Now I feel different and more capable. I recognise the difference in not stressing the small stuff and choosing to have a positive outlook.
Just the other day I got on the bus on a Monday morning and I was worried about the work to be done in the week ahead and feeling like the weekend had flown by too quickly without enough time to get the many things done outside of work that I want to do (such a my blog…. but mostly the wedding planning or just getting outdoors!). I decided to just put a high energy and happy affirmation out into the world. I told the world (via Twitter and Facebook) that today was going to be a GOOD day, nay a great day. And immediately people started ‘liking’ and saying positive things back. All of a sudden that happiness WAS appearing. Put it out there into the world and it’ll come back at you that’s for sure. The same works for negative energy. And we don’t want that.
Day by day I’m learning to readjust when I feel grumpy or miserable. And don’t get me wrong, I still feel grumpy or miserable occasionally – you can’t ‘pretend’ – you have to BE and not shove your head into the clouds and act like the bad things aren’t happening. Address things but address them with as much courage and positive energy as you can muster and who knows what you find you can tackle that you thought you couldn’t.
There are things I haven’t done. Things I am yet to do.
So whilst I”m ticking the little things off the list day by day, I thought I’d hold myself accountable to some of the bigger things I want to get done – and here they are:
- Give those family and friends who visit, a trip to remember for our Wedding.
- Buy a property in Australia.
- Reach new achievements and goals in my new role.
- Visit new countries I’ve not seen.
- Start a family.
- Get a dog.
- Give more unexpected gifts.
What do you want to overcome and feel positive about? What do you want to achieve?