Last week… no wait, over two weeks ago (omg) my little bubby turned 9 months. It felt like a very significant month to reach because of the whole nine months in the womb, nine months out of the womb thing.
At exactly the same time I also found myself doing several unexpected things.
I started fondly reminiscing about her being a tiny newborn. Anyone who knows me knows this is a little out of character. As much as I love my baby girl, and as ecstatically happy as I was when we finally got to meet her, I found those early weeks challenging. Challenging as any new mum would, but nonetheless I have certainly found more to enjoy as she’s grown. I guess having a newborn can be a shock to the system, a total lack of predicitability – and if you treasure sleep and routine like I did, it knocks you for six.
But… newborn days are precious and that tiny little being felt to me like the first baby ever made in the history of man – purely because it felt so miraculous and so profound that she had come to exist – this perfect, tiny bundle of part me, part her dad.
I get so teary looking at photos or videos of babies being born. I think there are several things I would change second time around in labour and birth and one of them would be to have the moment baby comes into this world captured. There are some amazing pictures out there and with this first time I wasn’t sure I wanted a camera to be involved but now I know I want to look back and treasure that moment. So much changes so quickly and each day I realise, more and more, just how amazing it is that our daughter is with us. How lucky we are and how beautiful it is to watch her grow.
Aside from feeling all soppy about Baby OC making her entrance into this world all of a sudden there was more than one post on my online mother’s group from mums who are now pregnant again. These are the ladies I went through my pregnancy with – and now they’re on the journey again. Which suddenly makes it more of a reality that I could be if I wanted too.
Then there’s my timehop and Facebook memories – I was in my third trimester this time last year – her arrival was imminent and pregnancy felt so very all-consuming. And also exciting – we were on the final countdown and impatiently awaiting the arrival of our Jellybean.
When I held my friend’s newborn daughter a few weeks ago she was so tiny, and so sleepy.
And so un-put-downable! Remember those days? When babywearing was the life saver and the sofa had a butt-shaped imprint from where you were permanently attached to it?
Heck I do. And I also know there will be very little of sofa time second time round with another small human in the equation! Yikes.
But we are not there yet. Don’t worry, no announcements…
Mr OC and I have both expressed we are keen to have a second but right now there are several reasons I won’t be joining the other pregnant mummas just yet.
Firstly, I had an emergency Caesarean Section and so I was told by the doctor that I shouldn’t get pregnant til 12-18 months post-surgery. Secondly, we want to upsize to a house before we extend our family. Finally, I wanted a calendar year where nothing major happened – in the last 4 years we have moved 3 times, bought our place, changed jobs, started our businesses, got married, had Mr OC’s eldest live with us, walked 100km, done home renovations, had Little Miss OC and so much more. It’s been a hectic few years and I wanted to just have this year to just ‘be’. I wanted to just watch our little girl grow and have the time and energy to enjoy that. I wanted to enjoy getting aspects of my old life back.
And so far we are doing all of that and it feels good.
Sometimes you need to just stand back and breathe life in. So broody or not, another baby OC is on hold for bit longer yet.